


Take It Easy On My Heart

by spn_fan_girl_173



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, F/M, Heavy Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-19
Updated: 2017-10-19
Packaged: 2019-01-19 21:23:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12418443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spn_fan_girl_173/pseuds/spn_fan_girl_173
Summary: Prompt: Song Mercy by Shawn Mendes





	Take It Easy On My Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is appreciated.  
> Follow me on Tumblr : @spn-fan-girl-173

She hadn’t seen Dean Winchester for years and now here she was, sitting right in front of the man who she used to love - or maybe she still did.

“So, Y/N, how’s life been?” Sam asked taking a sip from his beer.

“Good… Good. Yeah. Pretty good,” she swallowed a big gulp from her bottle, “You guys tell me, I mean you have been hunting more than me.”

“Well, we’ve met god and his sister and something tells me that’s way more than hunting,” Sam said as if he was proud of himself.

“That sounds crazy, even though I know about hunting,” She said, now her eyes met Dean, “So, Dean, I heard about the mark and you becoming a demon. Is that all true?”

“What do you think?” Dean shot her a wink.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” she chuckled.

“Where do you live, Y/N?” Sam asked, “Have settled yet with someone?”

She smiled, “Naah. I’m a lone wolf. Motels do for me.”

“Oh, then why don’t you come visit us, now that you’re in town.” Sam offered her with a generous smile on his face. After all she was once his best friend and not to forget his brother’s girlfriend.

“Sammy’s right. We’ve got a bunker. You won’t believe it. There’s a library, our very own kitchen, big bathrooms with amazing water pressure and oh, not to forget the dungeon.” Dean said in excitement.

Her eyes went wide on the last part, “A dungeon? Really? I’ve gotta visit the place.”

But the very moment the words were said out loud she regretted saying that, because of the history she shared with the Winchesters.

**~ Flashback ~**

_“You’re so amazing Y/N,” Dean said in awe, looking at her, “I don’t deserve you.”_

_“Don’t say that,” Y/N propped her head off his chest to look him in his eyes, “you deserve every happiness in this world, Winchester.”_

_“And you do know that my happiness is with you, right?” Dean said._

_She blushed at his question, “Yeah, Dean, I know. I just hope it remains this way.” She started tracing patterns on his t-shirt, with her finger._

_“It’s gonna be this way,” Dean pulled her even more close to him and kissed her forehead, “forever.”_

**~ Flashback Ended ~**

But it never remained that way. It just got worse.

“Where did your mind wander off, Y/N?” Sam asked when he saw Y/N absently looking at the wall behind him.

“Umm… Nowhere,” Y/N brushed Sam off, “you know what guys? I think it’s not really a great idea to visit your bunker. I’m sorry.”

“Why not?” Dean asked, and she wondered how could he be so normal about everything that happened. Even if it was years back. Maybe because it was a casual thing for him to say that he loved someone and then leave them one day.

“I don’t know, Dean. Maybe because of the past we share,” she bursted when she couldn’t control the anger in her anymore, “I don’t know if you remember, but I’m not exactly “love ‘em and leave ‘em” type.”

**~ Flashback ~**

_“What happened to us, Dean?” Y/N said pulling at Dean’s elbow making him look at her, “we never had fights like this before and now we fight all the time. What changed, Dean? Tell me.”_

_“I don’t know, okay? Maybe you’re just overreacting.” Dean’s voice was low._

_“Overreacting!?” Y/N’s eyes were wide like she couldn’t believe what Dean was saying, “You were flirting with that waitress so shamelessly. I had to remind you that your girlfriend is sitting right next to you. And you’re telling me I’m overreacting? And it’s not just today, Dean, you don’t talk to me anymore. You don’t look at me like you used to, hell, you try to avoid me as much as you can.”_

_Dean said nothing, just lowered his head._

_“Dean, I’m trying here, as much as I can to save this relationship and you’re just pushing me away. Have I done something wrong?” Tears were welling in her eyes now, “Did I hurt you in anyway? Tell me, Dean.”_

_“You know, Y/N I’m not the settling kinda guy. And I can’t do it anymore. I can’t give you a happy apple pie life.”_

_“And I’m not asking for it!” Y/N shouted._

_“I know you’re not but I also know that you want it and I can’t give you that,” Dean stated._

_“Yes. I want it, I mean what girl doesn’t, Dean? But I can compromise. I am compromising. Please don’t go away from me,” Y/N pleaded._

_“I’m sorry, Y/N. I can’t. Even if I stay with you I know I won’t be able to make any of this better. We are better on our own,” Dean said looking straight into her glistening eyes._

_“No,” Y/N gasped, “No. Dean please.”_

_“I’m sorry.” And with that he left her, all alone._

_She cried that whole night. She couldn’t believe that the guy she was planning her future with just left her like that. She was with him in every hard time. When Sam died, when Dean sold his soul for his brother and even when Dean went to hell she didn’t forget him. She waited for him. When he came back from hell she supported her as much as she can. And all those nights when Dean had nightmares she was there to soothe him. But he still left him._

_Y/N thought that maybe he was doing it for her. Maybe he wanted her to be safe and the situation he was in with being angel’s vessel was not really safe. That’s right maybe he needed a break. She’d give him that and then she’d return to him._

**_You’ve got a hold of me_ **

**_Don’t even know your power_ **

**_I stand a hundred feet_ **

**_But I fall when I’m around you_ **

**_Show me an open door_ **

**_Then you go and slam it on me_ **

**_I can’t take anymore_ **

**_I’m saying baby_ **

**_Please have mercy on me_ **

**_Take it easy on my heart_ **

**_Even though you don’t mean to hurt me_ **

**_You keep tearing me apart_ **

**~ Flashback End ~**

Dean was looking at her in agape. That was something he didn’t expect from her because she seemed cool the whole evening after the accidental encounter.

Sam cleared his throat sensing the awkward tension between the two.

“I respect that, Y/N,” Dean said, ever so calmly, “But let us know if you change your mind.”

He wanted to say so much more than that. He wanted to apologize for leaving her years ago but he couldn’t do it. So he went with ending the conversation there and leaving the bar.

* * *

 “Y/N, your relationship with Dean didn’t end on good terms but you have to realize that I was your best friend and 5 years back when you left us, I told you that I’ll still be your friend and I’m saying that again,” Sam’s squeezed Y/N’s hand assuring his words were true, “I’m inviting you to visit us as a friend. Let’s just forget about the bad things in the past.”

Y/N scoffed.

How easily he said to forget the past. She knew she couldn’t forget the past. She tried doing that for years now but every moment was engraved in her memory and was unerasable.

She looked up Sam who was giving her his best puppy dog eyes and that made Y/N smile.

“Alright, Winchester,” she chuckled, “you know I can’t resist this look.”

“Great let’s go then.”

She knew this wasn’t the right decision and she wasn’t strong enough to not show Dean that she still loved him but she didn’t trust him anymore.

* * *

 “Wow. These are a lot of books. I’m impressed by these Men of letters,” Y/N said looking around in the library.

Sam chuckled, seeing that she still had interest in reading.

“Alright, make yourself home. I’m gonna go shower,” Sam left the library.

Y/N was looking through the books when she heard a knock on the library door. She turned around expecting Sam to be there but he wasn’t. It was Dean.

“So you like any of the books?” Dean asked Y/N sitting on the chair.

“Yeah, they are pretty good,” Y/N put the book into the rack back and turned towards Dean, “they surely help you guys a lot with research.”

“Actually they do, and research is something you were a pro on, right?” Dean said looking at Y/N as she sat in the chair in front of him, “I mean you and Sammy did very well together.”

“No doubt, it was fun. I miss that,” Y/N said.

“Well you can hunt with us, like before, I mean,” Dean said with a hope in his voice, “the bunker has plenty of room in it.”

“Dean, that’s not really a great idea. I don’t think we can be like what we were before,” Y/N said shaking her head.

“Alright, so where have you been all these years? You didn’t contact once,” Dean asked Y/N.

“It’s really none of your business,” Y/N snapped.

“Sweetheart,” Dean tried to reach for Y/N’s hand. But she pulled away.

“Don’t, Dean,” she said pointing a finger towards him, “Don’t sweetheart me. I’m not gonna let you in this time. Because you are gonna chicken away like you did years back.”

“Y/N, I thought we were over it,” Dean said.

“You betrayed me Dean! I thought you needed time, you were stressed but no. You just wanted to get rid of me!” Y/N shouted.

“What makes you think that?” Dean said, confused by what she was saying.

**~ Flashback ~**

_She was so worried about Dean when she came to knew about Sam going to the cage. She knew that Dean couldn’t live without his brother. So she thought about returning to him. So she could be his support when he needed it. It was the right time._

_Finally she tracked him, living a very happy “apple pie life” that he said he couldn’t give it to her with a beautiful lady and a teenage boy who was probably that lady’s child. At that moment her heart broke beyond repair. She couldn’t believe her eyes, she had lost the love of her life and that very moment she promised herself to be strong and never look back at her past._

**~ Flashback End ~**

“I saw you happy, Dean living an apple pie life with that girl Lisa,” she said looking at him with her eyes filled with hurt and anger, “you said you couldn’t give me that but the actual reason you left me that night was that you were done with me. And now I’m done with you.” She said as if she was convincing herself more than him that she was over him. But deep down she knew she would still sacrifice her life in a moment for him. After all she loved him.

Dean couldn’t make his words when she walked towards library door. If he wanted he would have stopped her, made her stay, but he just kept standing there looking at the door, thinking it was too late. But little did he knew, she still loved her and just his apology would have made her stay and live her life with him.  

_**Consuming all the air inside my lungs** _

_**Ripping all the skin from off my bones** _

_**I’m prepared to sacrifice my life** _

_**I would gladly do it twice** _

_**Consuming all the air inside my lungs** _

_**Ripping all the skin from off my bones** _

_**I’m prepared to sacrifice my life** _

_**I would gladly do it twice** _

__ _**Oh, please have mercy on me** _

_**Take it easy on my heart** _

_**Even though you don’t mean to hurt me** _

_**You keep tearing me apart** _

_**Would you please have mercy on me** _

_**I’m a puppet on your string** _

_**And even though you got good intentions** _

_**I need you to set me free** _

_**I’m begging you for mercy, mercy (on my heart)** _


End file.
